The rising trend of AI-driven therapy reflects our culture’s hunger for efficiency and instant solutions. However, it misses the essence of what therapy actually is: a profoundly human exchange. Algorithms may be able to mirror empathy or suggest coping strategies. Yet, they cannot truly witness a person’s pain or hold the messy, contradictory truths of being alive. Therapy is not just about solving problems; it’s about the co-created relationship. The subtle shifts in tone, silence, or shared presence help someone feel seen and understood. To outsource that to AI risks reducing therapy to symptom management. It strips it of its depth and reinforces the very isolation that brings people to therapy in the first place.
Artificial Intelligence or Artificial Intimacy?
The other day, I got a push notification from L’Oréal that said, “Hey beautiful. Indulge yourself. You’re worth it!”
I mean, thank you for checking in, but it’s gonna take a lot more than just anti-ageing serum to heal my self-worth wounds. Maybe tone it down?
I didn’t realise “You’re worth it” meant that my worth is equivalent to £49.99 a bottle. I didn’t realise that meant worth retargeting five times a day across Instagram, YouTube, Meta, GDN, and the Guardian recipe section.
I’m pleased to know that I’m worthy of L’Oréal. Headspace is telling me to be “Less stressed. More resilient. Just a few minutes a day.” You know what else takes a few minutes? Crying in the Pret bathroom. Spotify is offering me “Songs to Cry In the Shower To.” Thanks, I guess.
It’s IKEA (judgmentally) stating, “Your space deserves a little extra love”. No, a velvet pillow isn’t gonna make up for the lack of hug of my inner child.
This isn’t just marketing. It’s emotional cosplay designed to feel intimate but optimised to sell lamps, lipsticks, and low-glycemic granola. Brand building isn’t just about making emotional connections. The famous “Mad Men” quote “if she is crying, she is buying” is so out of fashion in an emotionally intelligent world.
Let’s talk about this
Real intimacy, the human-to-human kind, the warm, fuzzy and messy kind. It involves mutual vulnerability, some mild sweating, eye contact that lasts one second too long, and at least one person overthinking. Meanwhile, the other person reads too much into things for days. It’s highly inefficient and doesn’t have an ROI. It’s not scripted and unpredictable. It definitely doesn’t end with “Add to Cart.”
But manufactured intimacy? That’s intimacy on a drip. It mimics the gestures with thoughtful messaging, an emotional tone, and weirdly well-timed prompts, without any of the actual relational involvement.
It feels like someone read your diary, made a mood board, and then charged you $49.99/month to experience closeness.
And let’s be clear: this isn’t just cringe. It’s costly. Emotionally, mentally, even neurologically.
• Our brain starts to distinguish real connections from fake connections.
• We confuse performance with presence.
• We chase “views” but remain feeling “unseen”
I once spent three weeks talking to a chatbot who offered better emotional validation than my last situationship. However, at the end of it, I still felt empty and somehow ended up with a subscription to magnesium gummies. I can’t help wondering, are my feelings validated if they are validated by an algorithm, which btw is designed to validate?
Because that’s the thing: you’re not being nurtured. You’re being nudged. Nudged toward checkout. Nudged toward loyalty. Nudged into saving your payment details. Your emotional strength, maturity, and wisdom are only indications that you have a stronger sense of self. Therefore, you are harder to manipulate. In a marketer’s words, lower probability for a conversion.
You Can’t Automate Being Understood
So what’s the way out? Here’s a wild idea: let’s make space for emotional consent in marketing.
Not every campaign needs to be emotionally resonant. Not every startup needs to be mission-driven, and not every notification needs to sound like it wants to hold your hand and process your abandonment issues. And if you’re going to simulate a connection, at least own it. Have a little disclaimer on your emotional manipulation like: “You are seeing this ad because our algorithm identified that you are most vulnerable to convert.”
The truth is that people are craving something real. Something honest. Something that doesn’t feel like it was focus-group tested on 6,000 anxious millennials in a WeWork somewhere. It shouldn’t feel like I am just a statistic in the winning pool.
So maybe the bravest thing brands can do…is not pretend they know me when they don’t. I’ll still buy from them when I need the stuff they are selling, not being manipulated into a purchase.
